It’s been a tough year. I’ve had plenty of hard times in my life. Plenty of joyous ones too. Everything I have gone through has brought me to where I am today and for that I am thankful.
This particular year has been especially hard because the amount of challenges have been many, with not much of a breather in between events. Some of the challenges are ongoing and have caused me to reflect back on my life to childhood, seeing some things more clearly. Old wounds have been re-opened and new realizations have brought more clarity to hurts from the past. Other difficulties this year have been various and many. Things I have been under great stress over, things I have worried about, prayed about. A few of the things, God allowed to happen even though I begged Him that they wouldn’t. But, I lived through those things and they turned out to be not as horrible as I thought they’d be. Through it all, I trust in God’s plan.
About six weeks ago one more challenge came up. This was really one challenge too many. One that made me feel as if I had an elephant sitting on my chest and a truck on my shoulders. One that made my heart pound, kept me from taking a deep breath and consumed me. Something that completely filled me with anxiety. I don’t have time to sit around worrying about things. I’m a homeschooling, stay-at-home Mom. I have more than enough to do. For the most part, I pushed this worry aside and trusted in God. However, I am only human. Sometimes having faith isn’t so easy.
Taking a bath or a shower at night is probably the only time I have quiet “alone time”. This is always the time I take to talk to God. I don’t just say a prayer by rote. I talk to God. In my head, silently. I pray. I tell Him my worries and my fears. I thank Him for the many blessings He has given us. I ask that He keep our children safe from harm and help me to be a good wife and mother. During these times, I took my latest worry to God. I told Him how anxious I was and why… actually begging Him to answer my prayer and to deliver me from this particular worry that was colossal in my life. I asked that He answer my prayer, if it was His Will to do so and if He did not answer it, I would trust in Him to help me get through. I asked Him to take the worry and anxiety away from me and to help me have faith. I apologized for not having complete and total faith. Those were some long talks. I am always so glad that I have a Heavenly Father to turn to.
I am not going to talk about what my particular worry was because it doesn’t really matter. It may seem silly to some, maybe even petty. We all have our own worries in our lives. To me this was a major fear. Something that I dreaded immensely. Something that could have significantly changed my life. Yes, I could talk to my husband about it. He comforted me and tried to reassure me. I could talk to my Mom about it. But the only one who could actually help me with this problem was God. That’s it. So I prayed and prayed.
The first thing I noticed was that my anxiety lessened. It wasn’t so all-consuming. My heart palpitations stopped and I could get a deep breath again. The second thing that happened was an idea popped into my head about something to look into. I never would have thought of this on my own as I didn’t even know it existed, and yet there it was. Pop! Idea. I checked it out & sure enough, this was a promising development. Something that might just solve my entire problem. Just knowing this new possibility existed, reduced my worry by more than half. But I prayed. I kept praying. I thanked God for leading me to this possible answer and I continued to pray.
Today. Finally. I found out. God answered my prayer. The relief I feel is indescribable. I am so incredibly grateful for God’s blessing. This would not have happened without Him and I can guarantee that. I am also very humbled as this is full confirmation that He was indeed listening to all of my prayers. He does love me. He does listen to me. What greater gift do we have than His love for us?
I am sharing this with my readers now because I promised God I would. Back when I was consumed with worry, praying during my “alone time”, I decided that when my prayer was answered, I would share this experience and give all the glory to God. Hopefully this might provide some comfort to someone who is struggling with their own worries right now.
We all have stress in our lives, fear, concerns, hurts and pain. We have things we carry with us. We are worried about our country and keeping our families safe. These are not easy times we are living in. I am nobody special. I am a sinner saved by God’s grace. I am a human being with many faults, yet God cares about my worries. He takes the time to listen to my concerns. He answered my prayers. He loves us all. We only need to reach out to Him. ~~Sister Patriot